"So few people could truly relate to the work I'd done," says Leanne Olsen in the introduction to her book, Cruel Paradise. However the large community of people belonging to the other actors in any peace support operation must surely attempt to relate to the work of one of the major players in most conflict scenarios. Medicins Sans Frontieres (MSF) was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 1999, and is one of the biggest actors in delivery of relief. Most of the experiences that Leanne describes in her book, a combination of journal entries and personal narrative, happened while she was with MSF. The author's aim is to tell, "what it's really like to be an international aid worker." In sharing her stories with us Leanne provides an opportunity for members of other partners in any peace process to put a human face to MSF, and more important to relate to the work of others like Leanne who might be encountered in a mission.

Military and police actors on peace support operations do not have a monopoly in facing danger. Unarmed aid workers face danger without the benefit of unit cohesion, tactical mutual support or the reassurance that some derive from carrying personal weapons. Leanne recounts many brushes with death that occurred on her assignments in Liberia, the Great Lakes Region of Africa and Bosnia.

"I realized that day how little our lives were worth to these people." Leanne didn't think that she would get through an African checkpoint alive as she "waited in dread for the sound of the gunshot." Yet, later the same "boys" smiled and waved them through. It is disconcerting to have one's life hang on someone's whim!

"Not ten meters from our car, he was shot in the head and killed," Leanne reports. "The fact that we had witnessed this atrocity was extremely dangerous to us. If they didn't want witnesses, the only solution was to kill us too." Remember, aid workers are unarmed! They can only be witnesses or further victims.

Moreover, observing an atrocity not only puts the witnesses in danger but also imposes a life-long trauma to be dealt with. Relief at finding that the noise was only bees, not flies buzzing around more bodies at the Mokoto massacre, can only be appreciated by those who belong to the club.

What club is this? The author describes it as "an exclusive club, restricted to those people who had gone through something too horrible for most people to fathom." Generally non-members don't want to hear about the events that earned membership. I think that I earned membership myself as an unarmed UN military observer (UNMO) with nine months in Sarajevo, 1993/94, and in previous incidents as an unarmed UNMO in South Lebanon and Kabul. These unarmed experiences were very different than when I was part of an armed military component on UN missions in Cyprus and Haiti.

Unlike the Canadian Forces now, and the military forces of many other nations, other partners in the peace process, such as MSF, often have no follow-up for treating those returning who have been affected by the trauma of incidents in places such as Mokoto. These are the hidden dangers of such service to humanity and we all could suffer from these miseries.

Post-traumatic stress disorders (PSTD) aside, participation in such activities puts (as Leanne aptly notes) "a distance of experiences, of time, of tragedy, and of too many things" between relatives and the relief worker. The other actors in the peace process must be among the first to cross some of the distance that separates aid workers such as Leanne and those who have been spared the horrific scenes of Rwanda, or so many places elsewhere on this globe of ours.

There should be no surprise at certain attitudes held by experienced aid workers met on missions. Leanne mentions how her Christian belief in the intrinsic goodness of man was challenged. "Now (after her experiences) I believed that men were only as good as circumstances allowed them to be."

The passion or crusading spirit encountered when meeting many aid workers is also explained by Leanne but in the context of discussing the timing of stopping such work! She says you must still have "IT" and then goes on to define "IT". She concludes; "If you don't have that passion, that certainty in your heart and soul, you cannot do this work." So meeting an aid worker in the field without passion is perhaps an indicator that they are "burnt-out". "IT" is a requirement to keep carrying on!

Leanne talks about her pre-deployment training of two weeks in MSF's Health Emergency Preparedness/Logistics Training Course. While noting that she would see herself in every module of the program, she remarks that the MSF keyword "flexibility" was indeed valid. As a trainer, I might add that I don't think flexibility can be taught in a classroom. However, training programs must present opportunities for participants to demonstrate flexibility to ensure that they are comfortable in such situations.

The challenge for all those who belong to organizations that are actors on the stage of peace support operations is to understand each other so that we don't mess up saying our own lines. Understanding MSF, a major actor, indeed a Nobel Prize winner, has been furthered by Leanne Olsen's sharing her front-line experiences in her very personal account. "It was terrifying, it was exciting, it was insane. We were living on the edge-but you should have seen the view." To see Leanne's view, that of an MSF aid worker, one must read Cruel Paradise.

Roy Thomas is a former Senior UN Military Observer, Sector Sarajevo, 1993/94 plus UN tours in Cyprus, the Golan, South Lebanon, Afghanistan, Macedonia, Bosnia and Haiti. His last military appointment before retirement was as Chief Instructor of the Canadian Forces' Peace Support Training Centre in Kington. He was part of the Center of Excellence's team for 2000/2001 peace operations training sessions held in Thailand.